First you should know, i hate trying to describe myself. If i manage to write down anything that sounds even relevant to what I'm actually like, it takes up six hundred pages, and i always think I'm leaving something out, but I'll try....
I am a random crazy person with a strange obsession of mysterious, black clothing. I LOVE adventure, any kind of weapon, having fun, reading, walking in the woods, black, mystery, books, movies, and i want to be an actress. I like listening to other people, laughing, making others laugh, and being strong in my faith, Christianity. I've taught myself to kick but and believe i can do ANYTHING if i try! I like to draw and write, but i don't think I'm that great...Did i mention i have no self esteem?
Cellie describes me as:
a flurry/tornado/whirlwind combo-thing of witty sarcasm and weird voice impersonations, that absolutely despises her artwork even though i am utterly convinced that she is one of the best realism artist known to man, and she must be insane for letting me answer the question of 'Describe me in one sentence.'
Christmas, Body bags, and hills <3posted Dec 26th 2009, 2:41PM
Mood:
Since my last journal entry there have been Christmas, Body bags, and today...Hills.
Amazing how that works, huh? And by Hills I don't mean Beverly, though I'm sure I have no idea who she is or why they named a super expensive lot after her. I'm mean life hills-
So..virtual hills. The kind you find in corny video games.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I have now officially lost my 'putting dead bodies into body bags' virginity.
...Did I get ahead of myself /again/?
Let's start from the top. I work at a Vet. (I can hear your collective sigh of relief from here, believe you me.) From there I have rescued one ChowChow (sweetest dog in the world!!!), watched surgeries, collected cat bones/cat claws, cut off cat heads, and last but not least--
Stuffed dead animal bodies into bags.
Understand it is altogether fitting and proper that we do this- considering all of it has a reason much too boring to be included here! In any case, while a dogs blood pouring out of it's nose as it dies and me having to stuff it's limp body into a giant black bag might disturb you, you should know it has a purpose.
Not that it helps ><
BUT ENOUGH OF SUCH THINGS!!!
I was talking about hills- and Christmas. No one will probably read all of this, so I can be brief and honest. Christmas wasn't the greatest this year. I felt very little joy, no expectation, and the day passed almost as any other /except/...Except...
I loved watching my family open the gifts I got them. And I got to see my boyfriend's family at Christmas, plus all of my family!!!
(That's right, I said 'boyfriends', so all you people who never thought I'd have one? Muahaha, poo on you! (He's nice too) )
(..Sorry. Didn't mean to gloat there. It's a milestone.)
ANYWHO- (insanity kicking in).... Hills. Right. Hills. We had no money this year for Christmas, so everyone is a little screwed over and my top of the hill experience-
No...that doesn't make any sense.
Hills. Right. /Hills/.
Today I turn 18. I think I'm at the top of the hill in life, and I need to get my act together. Seriously ><
Right. So...
Hills. Body bags. Christmas. Debt.
And then that /brief/ chapter of Happiness....
I will break into your thoughts
With what's written on my heart
I will break
Break
I'm so sick, infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick
If you want more of this
We can push out, sell out, die out
So you'll shut up (shut up)
And stay sleeping
With my screaming in your itching ears
I'm so sick, infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick
Hear it, I'm screaming it
You're heading to it now
Hear it, I'm screaming it
You tremble at this sound
You sink into my clothes
This invasion makes me feel
Worthless, hopeless, sick
I'm so sick, infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
I'm so, I'm so sick
I'm so sick, infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
I'm so (I'm so)
I'm so sick (I'm so sick)
I'm so (I'm so)
I'm so sick (I'm so sick)
hey girl, thought of you and wondered have you ever heard of the band Fireflight? they're a Christian band and i thought you might like them ^^ just thought i might mention them to you in case you haven't heard of them ^^
YES!
They are awesome! The lead singer is just soooo cool!
And i'm really sick of all those comments on the bottom like 'They sing some christian songs but they are not Christian' and that whole debate. Really annoying me. >< Just because you are a Christian band doesn't mean /all/ your songs are about God. Anywho, I /really/ like them a looooooottt! I love their song Unbreakable the best so far..... The lead singer is so cool. I think I'm going to paint her or something >>
No, it's in Readington. There are loads of animals there and hopefully the girl got my phone calls to set up a schedule so I can work there permanently.
I'm okay, worried...Tired. Just going to work a whole bunch and then hopefully go to an amazing college! I'm just doing community right now ><
Hey, It's Nat.
...(Obviously)....
...
I'm okay. Last night we rode home late. I told you to call at 11, 11:30, but it was futile anyway since my phone was off after I got home. I had to sleep because of an early dance class :/
I AM SO SORRY!
I listened to your messages while in class and /couldn't/ dance for the rest of the day, i felt so bad that you had worried. They even took me away from my typical position at the other end of the demonstrating barre because my mind was so much elsewhere I couldn't do even the /simplest/ dance routines. When we went center I failed..epically....To the point where my /MOM/ was like 'Holy /SMOKE/ Nat, what's /wrong/ with you? that was /awful/."
I will be home tonight, and hoping that you will call. I'm so sorry! I promise that will /never/ happen again as long as I can help it/ it is within my power. If there's anything I can do to make up for it let me know--
Thanks :(